In this fast paced world we live in, its so easy to get caught up in the rat race of life where we find ourselves living from day to day – I know I’ve definitely been there many a time. How many times do we hit a major birthday and think ‘where did that time go and what do I have to show for it’? The truth is that yes, time can fly by very fast, but the exciting thing is that there is always so much more to come and life can change in the blink of an eye. If you feel like you’re stuck in the present moment, read on to learn my 4 best ways to develop your self trust.
As women, we’re given a special talent I like to call intuition – whether you actively ignore it (like I have until the past couple of years), or whether you follow it to the letter, the fact is that it still remains. How often do we say to our friends ‘ooh, I don’t know about this – it doesn’t feel quite right’, yet we go along with it anyway? I know I’m not the only one, right ladies? We don’t like to disappoint people, but more often than not, we end up disappointing ourselves.
Watching the surfers
The other day the sun was out on a fine winter’s day in Melbourne – it was one of those perfect days where there wasn’t a cloud in the sky and the sun felt glorious on my skin. I headed off down to the back beach near where I live and whilst I walked along, watching the surfers having a great time and trying to avoid getting my feet wet with each crashing wave, it struck me that life is all about learning to trust.
As I walked along, the waves never stopped crashing, but the distance that the water travelled up onto the shore did. Some waves would travel right up to where I was walking along, and others would hold back and simply crash nearer the shore line. It was almost like watching a dance where the water would wash up close to where I was, tempting me to get my feet wet, but then it would retract again just before it reached me.
A couple of times the water got very close, but I stood my ground and trusted that it would stop rushing in and strangely enough it would. There was only once where I had to do a quick side step to avoid the cold water from soaking my toes.
It was such a lovely day to wander along and listen to the sound of the crashing waves and watch the surfers having fun in the water. At one point I sat and watched the surfers & I was reminded that they too had to trust something outside of themselves. Let’s face it, surfing is a fun sport, but it’s not without its dangers – especially at this particular beach, which is well known for it’s rips. The thing I found interesting about the surfers is that they don’t catch every wave they see – they sit back and observe and wait for the best one to come along – sometimes this means that they’ll fail (i.e. that they’ll pick a real dumper of a wave and wipe out before they get to stand up) and other times it means they choose the right one and spend a couple of seconds in euphoria as they ride the wave. Sitting there watching them really brought home how trust is so important in so many areas of life.
How can you develop your self trust muscle?
Like everything, developing your intuition, or self-trust takes work. We’ve gotten so used to not listening to our bodies these days and we live in a time where we’re more concerned with what a group of strangers on the internet think of us than what’s really true for us. I can’t tell you the number of times I felt that something wasn’t quite right, but I didn’t want to disappoint other people, so I went along with it. Sometimes it was a light tingling in my tummy, a feeling in my left arm or a voice in my head telling me it wasn’t right. No matter how strong or subtle the cue, I more often than not chose to ignore it, until the past couple of years.
Here are my four best ways in which to develop your self trust:
1. Get out into nature
Whether you get out on your own, or with friends, get out and enjoy some nature time. Especially if you live in a big city and you’re always on the go, book yourself a couple of hours to go for a hike, or get the bike out and go for a ride. Whilst you’re out, really soak up the atmosphere – take some deep breaths and really soak up that good fresh air.
2. Align with your values
At our core, we all have basic values. When something comes up and you get that feeling that it might not be quite right for you, don’t simply ignore it, but ask yourself why? Does it align with your true values? The answer should be yes or no – if its not a hell yes, then its always a no. I think too often we go along with things because we’re unsure, when in reality, we know that its not right for us, but we feel bad about owning it. I say own is, sista – people will respect you more if you live aligned to your values than if you’re all over the place and feeling bad about your choices.
3. Get quiet
In order to really ramp up your intuition, the best way is to get quiet and to really tune in. You can do this via meditation – even if it’s just 5 mins a day to start with. Get into the habit of blocking out this time for you – it’s time away from work, the kids, your friends and family. Maybe you need to get up 20 mins before everyone else to get this time, or you need to barter with your husband where he takes the kids out so you get the space, but you deserve it. Sit with the feelings that come up – don’t be afraid of them, no matter how uncomfortable it might feel at first. This helps to give you an insight into how you truly feel.
4. Rediscover your creative side
All humans are creative – even those people like me who have pushed down their creative sides for years. For some people it’s writing, or painting, drawing, crafts or photography. You don’t need to be creating masterpieces every single time, but find something that you really like and get involved with it. Perhaps you’ve been thinking about taking a course to improve your photography – well, what’s been stopping you? Sign up for that course, spend the time and money on yourself – you’ll be surprised just where it may take you. The time you spend connected to your creativity is time where you learn more about yourself. If you’re looking for something different, a friend of mine runs amazing mandala rock painting classes – you can check her out here – Little by Nature.
Ramping up your self trust is a really important skill to master. It can take time, but life is so much sweeter when you learn to do it. Just like those surfers, sometimes you’ll crash and fall off the board, but other times you’ll experience that brief sensation of euphoria that makes life feel worthwhile.
If you liked this post, I’d love it if you’d share it with your friends – this may just be what someone needs to hear today.
Here’s to getting in touch with our intuition!