Dear diary,

It’s a Wednesday afternoon on this winters day – nothing particularly exciting happening here.  I’m just sitting at home trying to come up with a dazzling blog post, but inspiration is not my friend today.  Whilst I have a long list of topics I want to share with my lovely tribe, nothing seems to be flowing from my fingers onto the keyboard – ho hum, perhaps its just going to be one of those days. Maybe if I just go and check out that funny video on YouTube for 5 minutes I can be back and get struck with the inspiration I need…

Ok diary, that’s not really the issue here, the truth is that I’m trying to decode the ‘secret message’ in a text that I just received. I’m struggling with this one diary, and I hope you can help? Here’s what I just received: ‘hey, how about catching up for a scotch in the morning’.  

This was from a new (male) acquaintance that I met at the weekend. Someone who I spent a good couple of hours chatting to on Sunday and who seemed to be quite normal and now I receive this?  (I should, for context sake, say that this wasn’t the very first message he sent – I mean, that would be strange – there had been a few jokey, banter-y texts before this little gem popped through).

What could it mean, my mind has been debating? Is this his way of asking me out? Is he an alcoholic? Does he think I’m an alcoholic? Is he being funny? Will he no longer like me if I say no? Did I miss something here?  

Diary, help me out – how do I reply?! What if I say the wrong thing? What if I turn the guy off, even though I have absolutely no intention of catching up with someone for a scotch?  

Please help me!

Signing off lovingly,

Shelley xx

Hmm, you would think as a health and mindset coach that I would be all cool, calm and collected, right? I teach my clients ways in which to get out of their minds and into their hearts, but do you think I could summon this for myself today? No siree!  I was in serious over-thinking mode and nothing was going to drag me out of it.  

How I finally got the monkey out of my mind

In order to get my monkey mind to stop running at a million miles an hour, I first had to realise what I was doing.  This is probably the hardest part when you’re stuck in that place.  I don’t know about you guys, but when I’m in it, my monkey firmly likes to set up shop and munch on the never ending supply of bananas in there.  Even though it drives me crazy, my monkey mind likes to play out every possible scenario waaaaaaaay before it’s even happened.  It’s like some sort of time machine has been installed & I’ve even been known to have entire future conversations with people in my head. (Which, of course, makes it weird when I do actually see them in person because I wonder if I’ve already said what I wanted to say to them?).  Oh yes, it’s fun inside my monkey mind sometimes!

For a good couple of hours, the chatter kept up, but eventually the chattering got to such a point that I was simply tired of myself, so I called upon my two most favourite tools to help snap me out of it:

  • I called a good friend
  • I went for a walk in nature

Simple you might say, but very effective all the same!  Normally just one of these techniques would be enough to get me out of the funk, but today I needed the walk as well as the phone call to fully bitch slap myself and get my thoughts back in order. I did have to smile when I recounted all of the monkey chatter to my friend – she gave me fabulous advice (as I knew she would), but she did also share a story of how something similar had happened to her during the week and how she too had let her monkey mind take over the show. Maybe it’s just a female thing – I’ve never heard of too many men complaining of this affliction, but ladies if you find yourself running thoughts around and around in your head, there are some things you can do.

Drop into your heart

Dropping into your heart is really difficult when your mind doesn’t want to let go.  This was one of the main reasons I called a friend – mostly to change my state and to get me to stop obsessing. Just by talking to someone who knows me well, I could surround myself in their love and drop into my heart again.  We were able to talk about the text message and why it had triggered such a response from me and we were able to come up with a way to respond. Just by sharing the experience with someone else, I was able to get out of my mind and feel what the best response for me was. I could use the natural intuition that I’ve been blessed with, rather than fight it like I’m sometimes prone to do.

Let go of the outcome

Letting go of the outcome is something that I say a lot and when I say it to my clients I’m honestly, authentically, positively in the moment, sure about it. I’m a firm believer that the best things come when we let go of the outcome, though try as I might sometimes I struggle to see this for myself. As women I think we’re brought up to believe that we need to keep the peace and not rock the boat, but I’m here to tell you ladies that that simply isn’t the case.  The truth is that we’re here to be compassionate and kind to one another, absolutely, but if you need to speak your mind, you need to ask what someone meant, or you need to step up and refuse an offer that’s just not right for you, then you should do it.  Forget the outcome and the worry – your mind may be able to come up with 100 conceivable possible scenarios, but none of them have even happened yet (nor are likely to) – what matters is that you’re true to yourself and your own intuition. 

Practice the art of mindfulness

The art of mindfulness can be a tricky one when you’re stuck obsessing over something, but the more and more times in your day you can stop and appreciate the things around you the more mindful you will become.  I find that the more I get out in nature and appreciate the day (regardless of whether the sun is out or not), the more that I can drop back into my heart when I need to. I’ve mentioned before that I try to meditate and many mornings I’m successful at it, but I’m definitely not perfect. The secret is that its not about perfection, its not even about meditating as such, its about stopping and noticing how you feel so you can drop into your heart space when you most need to.

As for the text message – yes, it was a little odd and out of the blue, but after dropping down into my heart I sent a text saying that a scotch wasn’t my idea of fun and soon got a reply that he was just kidding and would I like to see a movie instead?  Thanks monkey mind, you could have saved me hours of internal chaos, but I’m aware that each time I find myself obsessing that it’s taking less and less time to snap myself back and for that I’m thankful.

So, I would really love to hear from you.  Did you like this post? Can you relate to the ole monkey mind running at a million miles an hour? Comment below – I’m sure that others would love to be able to relate to you too.

Wishing you a great rest of the week!

Shelley xx